What Yer Mama Didn’t Tell You About… Making Babies!

with Holly Lo & Dawn Calvinisti

This is an unedited transcript.

Welcome to the Momdaze Podcast. I’m your host, Holly Lo. And joining me as we do every month, my beautiful sister Dawn Calvinists at all the way from Guatemala, for our episode of What’s your mama didn’t tell you. So we’ve been talking reproductive health. And, you know, I think we’ve up to this point covered things like periods, our cycles, teaching our kids about cycles, boys and girls, and removing some of the mystery around period health. And what that is, I really want to start going in the direction now of you know, we could talk what your mama didn’t tell you about sex, but we’ll save that for another conversation, because that could be a whole other ballgame. Right? Okay. So I think we’re gonna we’re going to do more of a focus on our, you know, fertility as that’s where we’re heading with this series, I want to talk about what we didn’t know or even still aren’t teaching maybe, about making babies. Sound good?

Sure. So making babies but not the sex part of making babies,

right? More of the where are the actual mechanics of what’s happening with our body, because I think if we can, I know, as a mom, I am much more comfortable. And as a homeschool mom, I’m much more comfortable having these conversations in a lesson format, you know, where you’re like, hey, this is just the lifecycle of a human. We’ve done the lifecycle of a chicken, we’ve done the lifecycle of a plant. Now, this is where babies come from. So I think if we can step it out of the sensual sexual part of what that looks like, I mean, there’s a whole component to that. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But to keep it age appropriate, and to keep it to, you know, our kids understanding of where they’re at. And giving it I think, just a better, I don’t know, physiological standpoint. In my case, anyway, I don’t know, maybe would you agree that that makes it a little simpler to share this information?

Yeah, I think so. Because it is, again, coming from a homeschooling mom, I think it’s just easier to be able to say like, you know, these things already. Here’s how it works in a human right. So I think it is way simpler when we just take the science of it.

Yeah. So that’s where I’m at today. That’s what I want to do. I want to talk I mean, we as moms who’ve had babies, we know how that happened. Why, think so. But the funny thing is that the number of and when we were when we were both, you know, active doulas and supporting women in birth, the number of young or single or teen moms that I would have whether I supported them as a doula or just in conversing through my business, who honestly did have, they had no idea that there was only a few days in the month, they could get pregnant, that, you know, birth control is only one option, and that their window of the ability to get pregnant to make a baby was actually really small. And I was even at my age before I had babies, I was always curious about that. I always thought really like, what, how, how are there all these accidental? pregnancies? Right? And in reality, how are they understanding? Number one, their cycle? well enough to know that. And number two, just the, again, the process of what’s happening in their body, and when we are, you know, intimate when we are have multiple partners, you know, if you’re living that kind of life, whatever that looks like, what are the chances? So I don’t know, those are things that were never discussed, even in high school. So I think in high school, we talked about sex ed, like I’m trying to even remember, honestly, we talked about condoms we talked about, I don’t even know if we discussed the pill. We talked about how males have a sperm women have an egg, and that’s what needs to meet to make a baby that literally was the extent of our health class, and it was taught by our phys ed teacher.

Yeah, yeah. And like the thing that stands out to me the only thing that I remember from health class was we watched a video of the woman’s reproductive system from the inside with a camera and it looked like like pink flowers and I just thought, Oh, we’re really good looking inside. Like I remember thinking like, Oh, that’s really pretty. It didn’t I like I don’t remember where Anything, anything remember anything about what that had to do with my cycle? Or like any of that? I don’t remember discussing. I remember discussing what a period was. But again, not what a cycle was not what, you know, like what a fertility cycle was not what fertility health was, I do remember a condom conversation. I don’t remember a pill conversation either. Maybe it was in there somewhere. But yeah, there was very, very limited info. And I never learned any of that from my mom. So I didn’t have any

interesting, right. And I, I don’t think we ever had those conversations you and I know, I probably didn’t know. Right? I don’t. And I never asked it was one of those things where I wasn’t that curious about that kind of thing. I made a lot of assumptions. Like looking back, I know, I had a ton of assumptions based on things you pieced together, right? Like, I think I know that. And I kind of know this. And well, I should probably just avoid it altogether, because I don’t know what I’m doing. Right? That was my take on it. I’m like, Well, I don’t want to get pregnant. And I certainly don’t want to mess with hormone stuff. So that’s that was just my view of it. But I remember I had friends in, you know, my dance classes in high school who got pregnant in grade nine and 10, like, you know, 16 years old. And I just remember thinking in my head to myself, how did they not know? Right? How did that happen? How did you not know. But again, having those conversations then as I got older, realizing they’ve truly did not understand, they truly didn’t get that even just with or without birth control, they truly didn’t get the mechanics of what their body did and does and how that works. So I mean, we’re not going to get into the follicular phases, and you know, all of that. But even just the bare basics of understanding that we have ovaries, this is what they look like, this is where they attach to. We have an apron, I should have grabbed it for this up. So we have an apron downstairs that we use. And it’s got the plastic apron, it’s got all the body parts that are like, you know, sewn, or you can take them on and off and your stomach and everything. But it doesn’t have any reproductive organs. It basically goes down to the bowel. And that’s it. So we were doing this when we were going through the internal organs of the body and one of our lessons and I remember, asked him put it on and I went, Okay, buddy, that’s pretty cool. Because you know, your, your bowels hanging down at your knees. So pull this up of it. But I put it on me. And then I’m like, okay, and this big area that’s missing in here. That’s where the babies are made. Right? And it was just that moment of like, there’s so many opportunities to teach this in age appropriate ways. And in simple methods that are just not they’re not there. They’re just not applied for men and woman. Right? Right. The thing I think is really important is that it is always even to this day, focused on women understanding it.

Yes, you guys are responsibility, it’s for sure our responsibility, because we’re the one who gets pregnant. So therefore, we should know it all.

Even when it comes to fertility issues. I had this conversation just yesterday on one of our coaching calls. And this mama was like, Hey, I wanna she’s gonna come on our podcast, she’s gonna be chatting about this. But she’s like, Why? Why is the first initial assessment if you’re having trouble getting pregnant, it’s about all about the women. You know, test the women get everything out for women, when meanwhile, it was her husband. And they went through all these things, all these scenarios until we finally were like, Oh, by the way, it’s kind of you’re preparing. But again, I think it’s having these conversations and shifting it and not being afraid to have them with our boys to Yeah,

but I think even like as a mum, one of the things I think is important, and I have two girls and a boy is even explaining like the genitals explaining, like, where you go pee from where you go poo from, like that boys and girls are different. Because just to say they’re different, because they’ve got some sticks out. And we don’t you know, like, that’s almost how it’s left. Yes. And, and having the conversation even we just revisited this, I swear this was like just a couple of months ago, where we had to revisit again to say, No, babies don’t come out from where you pee from. Right. And we have had that conversation. But obviously there’s been some time since we’ve had it. And so having to revisit that, that you know, women actually have three holes down there and boys only have two and just talk about all of that. Just having those conversations because that kid like that, like kids are all into like told me the girls stuff, right? Like snot, poop, all that stuff. They love it. So it’s an easy conversation without it being embarrassing. That’s right.

I think when it comes to kids, we get embarrassed, which is our issue. It’s not them. And it’s because we never had these conversations, right talking about the birds and the bees. Think about all the jokes that are made about in movies and shows and you know, gotta have that chat. But it really doesn’t have to because it does come up the questions even at three and four years old. You know, I remember tell laying my kids that your baby comes from your belly button. Because at two and three, that’s just as the I had a big pregnant belly with a belly button sticking out that made sense at the time. But as they got older, I mean, that was just probably a disservice at that age too. But that’s age appropriate until we get to those questions. But I think there’s an idea that, you know, we can have the conversations and keep it appropriate, that’s my biggest thing is, it doesn’t have to be gross, in a sense of like, you know, sexual and inappropriate conversations, keeping the words appropriate, like our language, keeping it appropriate for any age, to be honest, don’t make it you know, don’t make it something that is, I don’t know what the right word is for that. But, you know, to che kind of subject because our kids pick up on that, right. And I say this to dad, sometimes to him, like, you know, don’t use vulgar words, and don’t use, you know, derogatory terms. That might be what you were raised understanding. But we can do better. I think we have the skills now to have these conversations with our spouses and our kids. So maybe you don’t have kids yet, right. Some of us got married and hadn’t had a lot of, you know, experience with this or not at all. And you know, suddenly you’re talking about making a baby or having kids and you’re both completely on different pages, maybe of what that process looks like, even trying to have our fourth, I was still trying to explain to my husband, what are my cycle was? Right, still trying to explain to him that there’s only a window of two to three days, you got to work with me. Right? No pressure. But there is this complete lack of like, it’s a gap with men I find, especially but women too, and just understanding that process.

Right. Right. I think even like, I’ve had more opportunity since my oldest daughter period, that we just talked through things like, I’m like, I’m really emotional today or I’m, I’m feeling a lot of tenderness, right or whatever. So does that mean it’s my periods coming early? Well, no, it could be that you’re ovulating? Well, it’s that well, this is when that happens. Right? So it’s just again, when those conversations come up being all you know, you’re probably just not you’re probably just offered know about it. Right? Right. Like, where is she in her in her face? And can we talk about that? Even if she’s not in that phase? Can we talk about like, what have some different stages that you you go through in the month? And I think it’s just it that it makes it normal? It’s natural, it’s just, yeah, that’s what happens. You know, it’s, it’s okay. And it’s something I think even as, as I think as women, we have an opportunity to really change how I guess the, I want to say like the the bad parts that seem to hang on generation after generation about periods and about like, it drives me crazy, I have to say this, it drives me crazy when people are like, Oh, I hate when I have my period. Or that’s the part that sucks about being a woman, like people that say that I just think like, Oh, I hope your kids are not hearing that. Because it’s the miracle of being a woman, like we need those things. And it’s what makes us super women. Like, I just think there’s so much power in that. And you can frame it however you want. But if we don’t frame it in a way that’s positive, and that just gets cycled down, over and over and over. Nobody wants to talk about it, everybody’s, you know, basically, like, so you just don’t want to live your life from whatever 11 to 55. Like, it just doesn’t make sense to me, it’s the majority of your life. So why not embrace that and teach that in a way that loving and kind doesn’t mean that there’s not parts of it, you don’t enjoy it, especially if you have you know, a heavy period or more painful or whatever. But

you don’t have to love it.

Exactly, exactly. I think I think we just we still need to be in such aberration of what our body is capable of. And I think when we bring it from that place of wonder and on like I don’t really cool, then that changes the conversation so much as we talk to our kids.

Yeah, when we’ve had some great conversations about that leading up to this, and I love that we’re having this talk because I want us to bring attention that we need to change the narrative around our reproductive health, both boys and girls, but specifically, like you said, the conversations around women’s, you know, periods and cycles and PMS and all of that. And the heavy negative connotations involved in that when our kids are listening, right? It’s really important that our girls and boys understand such beauty the way production was created to work. There is you know, things in that there is if you learn to understand it right I think that’s key. And I know you actually on your you did a summit recently and you had someone I think talking about workflow as well with your cycle. Yeah, when he talked about

Yes, like I think it’s it’s so amazing the way just like Are follicular cycle really, if you understand it, and I wish like, again, this is one of those things I wish I had known this younger when I was more active, you know, like trying to figure out why I was dragging certain weeks like you kind of get it like you get that it’s something to do with your cycle. But if I had known that I could have worked with it like that, that this is the week that I should basically do stuff. That’s your rote tasks I don’t even have to think about and then this is the week that if I want to really go for something that’s a week, like you have all the creativity, like, I just wish I had known that because that night is so useful. And so being able now to teach that to my daughter. And reminding her right, yeah, you know what takes so take it easy this week. If you’re feeling that way, remember, this is where you are in your life. Oh, yeah. Right, like next week, go all in.

You know, you know where you’re at in those phases and tracking it. I mean, I was saying this, if you want to understand your fertility, it starts in your teens, it really does. Our egg health starts when we’re in the womb, it’s incredible. Our quality is determined by our grandmothers even like, it’s quite powerful and profound, when you see the impact of generational health, on your reproductive cycles, and your egg quality and how you ovulate, your public your health, your ovarian health, all of that, we have, you know, if you want to dive into epigenetics, and I’m hoping we’re gonna get to that as we go through the series, but you we really do have a lot of control and power over this in many ways that we can shift those genetics. But we also have so much that we can be grateful for that, you know, if you have a healthy family line, and you have some, you know, good reproductive genes, you’re going to be taken care of, to a certain extent. On the other hand, if you don’t you also have the power to shift that. I think, not a lot of people having it’s, it’s the idea that, you know, I’m just my mom struggled, so I’m going to struggle, you know, my mom had terrible or my sister had terrible grades in schools, I’m gonna have this how it’s gonna be because it’s normally conversations I hear between mums and daughters, siblings, right. It’s Oh, that’s your aunt was like that, oh, your mom was like that, oh, you’re just going to be the same way. The number of times I’ve heard that. And I have to like, stop my like, it’s almost, you know, speak blessing, not curses it. What’s faxed to you? Doesn’t have to be fact for their life, it can be changed. So I think this conversation and continuing the conversation around fertility, health, and, you know, teaching our kids just to understand the basics. I think that’s the best way, you know, best place we can start, really. So I would love you, though, I would love to hear from us. Do you have you know, your daughter’s in that age range? But it’s not there quite yet. We’ve got two that aren’t quite there yet. Who are asking a million questions. Yes. We need to get them on at some point on one of these. But I would love to know from you with Matteo with your son. I would love to know what kind of conversations have you had? Because I’m getting some really funny ones now with my 14 year old. Yeah,

yeah. It’s interesting. Because last year in school, we went through a unit specifically on like your your body, but it was male and female walked through reproduction and walk through kind of just all the changes, and then all the biological parts like you know what, what you can actually see. And so he had a lot of questions around periods and a lot of questions around like, like, how getting pregnant, how do you get pregnant? How do you not? So I really liked that, because he was curious enough to ask some of those. And it was cute, because he wouldn’t ask them right after he had that lesson. It would be like three weeks later, then there’s some odd question after that our oldest had an outburst. But it was like sad because she could have her period. Note that just because she’s cranky, but you might be hit if you say that. But it’s really funny because he’s he is the kid and you know this, but he’s the kid who’s like, already planned, like, what his marriage and his how many kids he’s having that since he was probably seven, I don’t know, really young. So he wants to know, like, so. Like, what things do I need to know when I have a girlfriend and what things can I do? So even this week, he said to me, okay, so don’t you guys carry like pads or something on you just in case? And I’m like, Well, I do and he’s like, okay, because I’m just thinking like, maybe I should carry one in my pocket in case a girl needs it. Because that would be so embarrassing. And all he’s thinking is how horrible would that be? For a girl to be caught without right? I’m like, I don’t know if you could whip that out in public to some stranger buddy. But but the mindset is, like, Oh, you guys don’t actually know for sure for sure. Like it’s absolutely going to happen. So you should have something back on. Well, I’m going to make sure if I have girls that they know and that they have things available right. So I think

he’s still single right ladies, everyone. Yeah, he’s

still think off. He’s still saying, Oh, he’s really sweet. I’m just, yeah, we’ll take care of you and do all the stuff.

Just in case that’s

true. But again, it’s it’s those little moments, right to be able to correct things to be able to speak into, like, this is a great idea, or this would be very supportive to most women, make sure you have that conversation, not all women will want to tell you that not all women are going to be comfortable around that some things you’ll have to be aware of, and that’ll develop as your relationship develops, but just having conversations, right, and same thing with fertility, like having those conversations about, you can’t get pregnant every single day. And like, these are things that are precautions, and these are things that you need to be aware of. And fertility isn’t easy for everyone. And, you know, just because we had no problem having babies doesn’t mean everyone has no problem. And so like, again, this if those conversations and he’s very curious about, like how the world he’s very science minded, so he’s very curious, like, how do things work? And when things break down? Why did they break down? So those tend to be our conversations, so often fertility conversations come up those types of things with him? And I think, again, it’s just good opportunity. So does I have to Google it? I have to be like, I don’t know that. So let’s Google that. Yeah, but again, it’s it’s good, good conversation. And it preps, again, I think from a boys end, because they don’t get this stuff. From boys, it just makes them more sensitive to what, what the truth is, and what the future could be, and what the opportunities are, the possibilities are not to just be going in blindly thinking, you know, that this is just how the world works. Because sometimes the world doesn’t work that way. And sometimes, you know, people come from a different background, and they have a different, you know, way of thinking about something and certain things may not be talked about, right. So we’ve talked about that, too, that you could, the person that is your partner, their family may never have talked about it, and they wouldn’t

even know. Right, maybe telling you

like, yeah, yeah, like they may be shocked by that. Right. So yeah, yeah. So it’s just, it’s just good conversation. It’s this good opportunity, right? Because

typically, it is falling on us as moms, it is falling on us as women. And it’s not something I begrudge, actually I like having these conversations, because you’re getting it firsthand, right, you’re getting first hand integration experience from the person who’s actually goes through it. But I think it’s fair, you know, in some ways to also understand that our husbands and our partners are rarely clued into any of this anyway. Right? Like, they just don’t know. Like I said, you know, trying to just explain through trying to have a baby, what cycle looks like, and what days are fertile, and what days, you know, even helping you and your husband, even if you’re not trying to have a baby, but trying to not have one, you know, letting them know that, okay, so the days that I’m most likely to be interested, are probably the days we shouldn’t, you know, but if you’re actively not using any other, you know, forms of birth control, then you’re going to avoid it on those days. It’s just, it’s helping them understand that there’s gonna be days in here where I don’t even want to look at you. And then there’s days in here where that’s all I want, right? And you better capitalize on those, I’m just gonna let you know, right, this is your? And I’ll probably not say no, not today. So I think but I think it’s those conversations that even as, as partners, we don’t, we just don’t tend to have, and there’s a lot of resentment and frustration and a whole other world of hurt that happens simply by not understanding our both of our hormone flow, maybe. But again, it is more specifically women in that sense, because I don’t know about most guys, I know, it’s a drop of the hat anytime, anywhere, anytime, you know, it’s, we don’t need any special conditions. We’re not just the women do, right, we do have a cycle, we do have a moon cycle, we do have a pull on our body that is going to have an effect on mood and all of

that kind of thing. Right. And I mean, not just that I think about like young couples and, and I say this now with my oldest all the time, but if you don’t know as a woman where you are in your cycle, and you tend to be more snappy or mean like like, if that just is how you display because you’re more short tempered, during that kind of week before your period kicks in. That can put some huge kinks in your marriage, like it can cause disaster, and or even in your relationship if you’re not married yet or whatever. But like I said all the time to our oldest is okay. I just watched you like I don’t say it in the moment. It’s happening, obviously, but I just watched you respond like this. Are you aware of where you are in your cycle? And then usually, she’ll be like, Well, no, I’m not or Yes, I am and give me some feedback. So that then I can say, Hey, listen for the next few days. If you’re feeling like that, move yourself out of the room. Like if you don’t want to be around people, if you don’t, you don’t want to have that kind of reaction to have your brother and sister hurt and upset for something that is not on them. Like you need to remember Self. And so I think even as women, we need to be aware because our communication. So for some of us, not all of us, but for some reason breaks down at certain times. So like if you want to keep a good relationship, whether it’s with your kids, your partner, whatever you need to know, like you need to be aware of am I like that at that point in time? Do I need to withdraw more often? Do I need to withdraw earlier from conversations? If I can’t respond in a way that’s loving?

Or just let me know. Exactly, just saying, Listen, I’m feeling extra irritable today. And moreover, like, I just I can feel it. So if you could just go easy on me. You know, I’ve had I’ve said that, right. It’s the same for my period about three days before I’m highly irritable, like any little thing will and I’m not an angry person but irritated just like you know, anything can get me It’s why about your clothes. I legit legit bought like sound blocking and semi sound blocking for in the car, I have auditory sensitivity anyway. But I bought the the semi blocking ones from the car because I did notice that I was extremely irritated by just the talking the nonstop talking, even even in our house, but it was definitely those days before my period, it got 10 times worse. And I’d be much more snappy. But that was a solution for me. Even when I’m walking around the house, I haven’t been my ears because it just dulls the fat. I think it’s really important and teaching that early on. And just saying as opposed to being that again, it’s I grew up with all these nuts, family from friends of school, all these derogatory comments about our hormone cycle, right? Oh, go take a minute. We’ll take you know, just keep asking, what’s your problem? Is it just your we just

get called dramatic? Yeah, we’re just dramatic. It’s like, no,

like four days of every month, do you think you can pick out a cycle here? This is an actual routine. There’s a reason for this. Yeah. And I think that’s, that’s more what my heart is in this is that I want to see our conversation shift I want to see as parents as educators, you know, just even as siblings, whatever it is, and having those conversations so that there’s an understanding, there’s a respectful understanding of, Hey, did you know that this time of the month there is an actual, you know, tissue separating itself from your uterus and removing itself and you are bleeding it out of your body? I remember describing it like that I was holding my hands like this. And I’m like, a whole lining is pulling away, and it is blushing out of your body. And my oldest was like, Oh my gosh, that’s what a period. Yes. That’s terrible. Whoa. Right? No, no, it’s amazing. Amazing. But there’s there needs to be that level of respect of Yeah, it’s pretty awesome. As opposed to awful. But it does bring its challenges, right. And I love I love those conversations you’re having with your guys too. It’s it. That’s what’s going to shift this for other generations. We just need more of a student. We need more of these conversations. The boys and the girls as they’re coming up, because you know, again, at age appropriate stages, and as their questions come up, answer them and just matter of fact, ways. And if you like you said if you don’t know the answer, look it up. Or look it up. Yeah, and sometimes that’s the fun of it is if you do have a group of mom, friends, if you do have other women friends, it’s a you’re able to have these conversations that say, what were you taught? What do you know about this? How are you approaching this with your kids? If you can get these conversations going, as you know, our village, then it’s going to change? It’s going to help shift some of this. I think I do remember. I think you read it as well. The red tent book. Yep. All right. Love the powerful book read it. Ladies, if you have not read the read, it’s called

the Red tent. Right? The red tent. Yeah.

Just you know, keep on taking back the mystique and the and the powerfulness. And the mystery and the beauty of our reproductive health and a reproductive process. I think if we can reclaim

even the beauty of that time period where women withdrew together and took care of each other while they were dealing with that, that time, gave them a break, or to give them a break. And I say that all the time. It’s something I have to do, like I know about one to two days in the month, I know, I just need to either like go work at the coffee shop for half a day or say like, I’ll be in my room for the next few hours. Because I just need that withdrawal. But how much nicer to be able to do that with women who also understand Yeah, you know, I need that break too. And I think we don’t we don’t do that. We don’t care for ourselves through that. Instead, we just push through because of course in today’s day and age, it’s like a badge of honor to do doo doo doo doo. But the reality is there are times in the month where we should be a little bit either like a hermit or nurturing one or the other to take care of ourselves and that’s that’s a good thing. That’s not a weakness.

Yeah, well, and that’s one of the I think one of the cool things about when you have close friends, I don’t know, if you’ve ever noticed your cycles sync up, or the women in your house, your cycles all start to sync up. Because again, that’s just the way nature has made us. That’s the way you know, we’re naturally intended to be supporting each other through these, these stages of our reproductive cycle. So I think that’s, it’s a nice, it’s a nice idea. But like you said, we have to actively make it happen, because we’re living in a time where the stress and you know, priority on our wellness are not matching up, we’ve got stress levels up here and ourselves as a priority way down here. So definitely gonna have some work to do still getting that back to where it needs to be. Well, hopefully this will help with some of these conversations, you know, we can keep chatting about, you know, reproductive health, our epigenetics and fertility and how we can take ownership for what we can, but then share the knowledge and the educating with the next generations, and maybe your supposes shift some of those conversations, right? And that that information is so

awesome. And so and some of that just like to add to other things here, if that’s a conversation that you haven’t had with your partner, or if that feels super awkward, some of the best things you can say is what were you ever told about these things? Right? Because then it’s not personal. And I think a lot of times when it feels personal, like, like, you’re asking me my opinion, then that gets awkward. But it’s when when you asked like, what was it? What was it that you were told, what was it that your family believed or whatever, and it’s not personal, right? It’s just that thing that that was passed down. And that can make it so much easier to have that conversation and give you just that space of oh, now I get it is what it is. Right? So that can be really helpful. And the same thing with your kids. Like if you can have those conversations when your partner’s around, it’s really useful, because then everybody’s on the same page and know who said what, or at least let your partner know, after the fact, the conversation that happens so that way, if there’s more conversation, it could that from, you know, one of the children with dad, then it just keeps it all on the same page. Everybody knows where everybody’s from, and that can be really useful. Yeah,

yeah. I remember last summer when we were pregnant for the summer, that I remember we first announced everyone that we were pregnant, and our neighbors came over and gave his talk outside, he’s yelling off the back deck, my sperm worked. Why are my kids rolling? You’re like, Oh, good, Lord, what is he saying? Like they’re dying, laughing. And I mean, you know, me,

the initial me was like, Oh, my goodness,

are you kidding me right now, like the whole neighborhood. But then on the flip side, I was like, okay, you know, what, I’m actually grateful that he’s a goofball, sometimes, and can share things in a fun way with our kids like, it is funny, and they always get a kick out of the way he shares things, but it is always accurate, right? Like, he’s just different. I bring the education side of it, and he brings the Hey, this is hilarious side of it. So don’t again, don’t also put, you know, expectations on your partners or whoever it is, that’s helping you co parent, whatever that looks like, make sure that they’re you know, you’re leaving some space for who they are. You know, there’s there’s that balance, too, because I know I would be the one who’d be quickly shutting it down and saying, don’t talk like that, like, don’t share it like that will sniff it out real quick, if you do that, you know, but like you said, if you bring your individual personalities to it, as long as it’s not in a vulgar or inappropriate manner, you know, sharing it appropriately, age appropriately. And then yeah, having having those discussions, so you’re on the same page is definitely a good tip. That’s important. Not that I would have been yelling that off the back, of course, but it did open some good conversations. I’ll give you that. I’m sure. Anyway, all right. Well, we’re gonna wrap it up there. That was awesome. I am looking forward to definitely sharing some more about fertility as we go through this, but then we’re gonna head into pregnancy conversations too. And I know we’re gonna have lots to talk about that, because that was just so fun. For so long. As well, you have an amazing week, and we will look forward to seeing you all on our next episode. And make sure you have a followed and subscribed along leave us some reviews and comments. We’d love to hear what you think. And of course questions if you have any questions about this, or just need some support on how you can share some of these topics with your kids in creative ways. Reach out were more than happy to give you some ideas

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