What Your Mama Didn’t Tell You About Periods
with Dawn Calvinisti
This is an unedited transcript.
Welcome back to the Mondays podcast. I’m your host, Holly Lo. And this is our episode of what your mama didn’t tell you. And today we are talking about Yes, ladies, periods, we’re talking about our menstrual cycles. So if you’ve stumbled upon this podcast by accident, you are not interested in that you might want to, I don’t know, pass it along to someone who is interested. Guys in particular, this may not be for you. Or it might be we’ll see. Alright, let’s get started. Obviously, you have met my sister, I hope you have anyway, I’ve met my sister who is the other half of what your mom didn’t tell you. And she is going to share a little bit of insights on periods along with me today. So thanks for joining us.
Hey, thanks for having me. Just the type of tough topic I love talking about publicly.
You know how we’re in the right, like, you know, businesses or whatever in our life, when you can go Yeah, I want to have this conversation.
Yep. Yeah, I get texts from people who tell me all these things. And then they say it might be too much information. I’m like, I have heard it all bring it on.
It’s so true. And part of the reason I was laughing, I’m like, this isn’t for you guys. And then I’m like, No, actually, it is for you. I don’t know why everyone should know this. Everyone should hear the conversations, not just the women, because I think it would serve men a little better to know, or understand anyway, a little bit more about what we talked about when we’re dealing with monthly cycles. So when we’re talking about women’s health in general in the next few months, and we’re leading into reproductive health, and you know, fertility and pregnancy and birth and all that good stuff, as we head into the spring, this is like the gateway conversation, we have to talk about periods, because I feel like there is still a lot of misinformation, or lack of information out there. And I, you know, I feel like now again, raising raising a daughter, you’re raising two girls, even with my boys, raising kids, I’m going, huh? This is something I don’t, I didn’t feel equipped as a teenager or a kid or you know, going into this. As I started my period, or, you know, my cycle started getting more regular. I didn’t feel like I knew anything about it. And as a mom, those conversations suddenly were Oh, I have to kind of figure out how to explain this. Have these conversations with the knowledge I have now. So I would just be curious to hear from you. What what is your story? What’s your period story? If we’re gonna get personal?
Let’s go. Oh, my goodness. It’s so funny. This is I think this is a great topic, because we will have girls that are coming up to that stage. I’m assuming yours is like super curious, because mine keeps asking me like, yeah, happened today kind of thing. Like, yeah, not quite yet, honey. And then I have an eight year old who’s already in that, that zone. But I think it’s so funny because I’ve tried to tell them both how it happened or like, how did I know or any of that? And I have no clue. Really? Like, I don’t remember the first time I vaguely remember that there were pads under the sink in our bathroom. And I knew I could get one of those but I don’t remember talking to mom about it. I know she I must have told her because I remember her saying she let dad know. But I don’t. That’s it like like I’m so sketchy on the actual circumstances. And I don’t think I knew much other than I must have. I wasn’t afraid of it. And I wasn’t because some of my friends had that issue. And I wasn’t shocked by what it was. And I just kind of went on with life from there and I don’t think I think I ever really had any in depth conversation ever with my mother. But
funny. And it’s funny because you know, we have the same mom. So it’s interesting. Remembering, I don’t remember you getting it or anything like that. I remember it being a big deal or anything like that. But I do kind of like you said, I feel like, I mean, our mom’s pretty matter of fact, like she was not, it was never a dirty thing. It was never like a private like, Oh, we don’t ever talk about that. I never felt like it was that it was just matter of fact, oh, this is what you have. This is what you do. And that’s how you have babies. And that’s the I just remember those kind of conversations, not too much information, not really much information. But it wasn’t weird, either. Like it didn’t feel foreign, or like you said, kind of scary. Or, you know, I had other friends who were in different, you know, religious upbringing to like Catholic Homes and things like that, where it was taboo, like, Don’t ever ask that question and don’t ever talk about and they had no clue what was going on. Where I knew at least enough to say I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening at that age. But I remember you, I don’t know if you remember this. You were the one who told me that I had started my period. Oh, no, I don’t remember that. Because first mum came to me one time doing laundry. And I was just spotting. Like, I just had little bits of spine like I didn’t suddenly start leading I had very little, and I didn’t even pay attention to it. Like didn’t look at her. And she said something to me once about it. And I was like, Oh, I don’t know. And she’s like, Oh, well, if that keeps going or whatever. And then I said to you, I don’t know mom asked me why I had like spot like spots in my kind of reddish spots or brown spots in my underwear. It was that? Is that my period? And you said, Well, yeah, like if it keeps going yo for a few days, that’s probably what it is. Pay attention. I remember you just saying pay attention to it. Because Mom was just like, it might be. And that was it. That was all it was. And I was like, Wait, pay attention to it. So that kind of just went on. That’s sort of how my periods showed up. Like it just went on like that for maybe. I don’t know, the next couple cycles, like it was just spotting. But then the next time I noticed it, I was like, oh, okay, pay attention to it. And I remember asking you for like a liner or something. Because I knew and you saying to me, did we with you is it a lot is a little bit because I remember your periods were quite heavy at that point, like when you start and this is later, obviously, but yeah, I remember thinking okay, all right. Well, this is no big deal. And because I was introduced to my period in that way like it, it sort of just whimpered its way in. Me Like, I didn’t have any pain. I didn’t have any cramping. Nothing like it. Just remember how old you were. I think I was 13 No, I was two. I wasn’t in high school yet. So I must have been 13. But I wasn’t younger than that. I know that for sure. Because it’s a my daughter keeps asking me is it and we our girls are our younger ones are 10. So it’s like the conversation is something she has all her friends are older than her. She doesn’t hardly other than you know, her cousins. She doesn’t have anyone point around her age. So they a couple of her friends have just started their periods. Right now. It’s conversations with that, right? So she’s having these calls with friends. And I’m like, I I just because I know you and I know your friends. I’m okay with that. Because I know your mom and I know what kind of conversation you’ll have. Right? Yeah. When I think back to my friends, the conversations we had and I’m like, Man, I’m glad that’s not the only place I learned everything. As you went on what you know, as you get older, you had some you actually had issues with your period like yours was bad.
Yeah, I was actually telling my oldest. I was out of school one day, a month, every every like in high school every month. And I remember mom like that wasn’t even issued. I would just go to her room and say I’m not going today. She’d be like, I’ll bring you some tea in bed.
Read you are literally that day. Yeah, yeah.
And I remember like, I remember this. It’s funny because I don’t have a ton of memories of high school. I thought it was just traumatic years. But I didn’t. I didn’t love high school. But I remember I mustn’t, like I mustn’t have I think most for me, most of my life, I’ve woken up with my period. And so whether it’s the middle of the night or in the morning, I know and I wake up and I know. And so I don’t know what happened, but I remember getting it in school one day, and I was in school, so that just never normally happened to me. And I was in my science class, doubled over with my head on my desk just trying to listen, because my dad was going to come pick me up but I was like 45 minutes away and so it was going to be a while. And I just remember laying my head on the desk and thinking I’m going to die. I’m gonna die and people around me being like, what’s wrong with you and thinking, I can’t tell people what’s wrong with me. Whereas I think you know, if I if I had girlfriends that talked about it more than I probably wouldn’t just said, but I just felt like, Oh, I just, I just feel sick, I just feel sick, and think I’m not gonna make it.
And now I’d find now it’s such a easy conversation. For the most part, like, girls, I mean, there’s times when there I’ve heard, even just like, with friends of friends kind of thing, or daughters or other teenagers. And it’s just a very, like open conversation to the point where I’m like, you could just ask me that quietly. Yes, I have a pad, you can have it, shove it across the cafeteria or whatever, like, there, we’ve definitely come a long way, which is great. I’m glad there’s those conversations, but I still feel, you know, there’s, there’s just a lot of misconceptions still. So for one that came up just recently, I, I personally will we can talk more about this, but I personally use, like disposable or washable, that are natural, you know, on either Nick’s undies is one of my favorites, and there will be no sponsor this, but they’re my favorite, I use natural hair, which we do oil BB sells on our website, and you know, different things like that, I, I use more alternative things. So my kids have just always grown up, see me, you know, rinse out my undies, or, you know, with just different styles of care. And it’s a conversation I have had with my daughter, it’s funny enough, I’ve had this conversation with my boys, because they’re very curious about it. And we joke about it now I’m like, Yeah, I’m gonna be the nasty mother in law, when or whatever, when you have girlfriends, I’m gonna be the one being like, by the way, you know, you should switch to the Christmas, you’re gonna get a whole pack of Nick’s underwear. Because I’m passionate about caring for your reproductive organs. And the more I’ve learned about it over the years, the more I’m appalled by what people still assume about what’s on the shelf, or don’t ask about what’s on the shelf. So I don’t know, if you found a difference over the years as you’ve tried different things, you know, especially with your because your periods were very heavy.
Yeah, it’s interesting, because I think like, there wasn’t really any option back in the day. And I don’t remember, you know, being told, like, here’s your options, and here’s what you can do. All I knew is, if you need to go swimming, there’s tampons, and if you didn’t need to go swimming, it was your option, like he was gonna, whatever, whatever worked for you. And that was it. And there wasn’t certainly wasn’t a natural option that I had heard of. I mean, maybe there were in the granola type looking stores that were back around those days. But I’d never been in to look for those kinds of things. I think, really, as I started to, you know, have children, that’s when things really changed. And I became very naturally focused. And same thing like really preferred. Any natural product over non natural just again, for the leaching value. And I think even as just for landfill, and like all of those kinds of things will break down that that matter, probably even more to me. And then I think as I’ve gotten older, like I love period underwear, I think that’s just the most brilliant thing ever. Now for me, because I’ve always had heavy periods in the first couple days, I can’t do that. Or I’d be going through like packs of them. But you know, but after that first day, then yeah, and I think that’s fantastic. And so my girls know that. And I think even when we’re talking about you know, that part of it, that’s something that when my oldest was because I knew that I had my period around 13, I knew my mom had around 13 I think my grandmother also was around 13 When she was going to whatever she was 12, I had a little period pack that went in her bag, and she just knew this is how you use it. So it like she knew all of that before it ever happened, which I certainly didn’t. But she always had that. And so now my 10 year olds, like when do I get one of those? Like, well, we can work that out for you. But yeah, so I think like just being aware of options and why, you know, and just the effects on our own reproductive health and all of that by choosing something more natural. And just, there’s a lot more solutions, right? There’s just lots and lots of solutions. And you can really try a lot of things and see what works best for you. And that yeah, that just was never the case back then.
I love it. That’s such a good tip to to keep in mind for us as much right to have something ready for our girls around that age. I love that. That wouldn’t even occurred to me because I’m the kind of mom I just don’t think like, because that’s not how my experience was right? And yet I know so many friends and so many women who that was their experience, their periods showed up at school for the first time ever, and they were humiliated, right there was so ashamed of it or so embarrassed or they didn’t know how to handle it. And that makes total sense to have something for them have a change of pants, have a change of undies and have some pads or you know some nicks on these or something like that in a package for them around that age, keep them in their locker if they’re at school or in their backpack or whatever. So I think that’s really good. That was a tip I will take away I’ll remember in another year or two hopefully I’ve got to To still to go, we’re gonna take a break. But when we get back, I want to talk about some of the options we do have now and why why is this such an important thing? All right, now we have shared a little bit about the crazies from the past, you know, the stuff we didn’t have did have. And I remember using, I think it was always brands, because that was just like the brand at the time. I don’t know what I probably use other brands as well. But I noticed by the time I got into probably high school, so you know, maybe grade 1011, I was starting to deal with a lot of cramping. And back then I remember just being handed a box of idle, there you go. That’s what you do. You take metal and you bleed heavy on your first second day. And you go through a lot of pads. And that’s that. But then I also started noticing I was getting a lot of irritation. So I get really itchy by like day three or four. And I was like this is I always thought I had yeast infections every time I had my period, because I didn’t know I was just like, why am why does it period equal itching? Why does this equal cramping? Why does this and I did start to you know, I remember asking friends who had really terrible periods or, and I was very interested in midwifery and birth and all that at a very young age. So I remember as I got a little older in my mid 20s, asking friends in the birthing world, you know, what, what do you use? Well, what’s why could this happen? I remember a midwife saying to me, finally, at one point, you’re probably allergic to them. And I went, what you can be allergic to this regular pads. And she’s like, well, if you’re itching, you’re allergic to them. She does, there’s a lot of chemicals in those. And that was that like thing, moment for me that I went, I need to find out what I’m actually using. And it’s funny because when my first was born, I did all that research on diapers. And it was a reason I chose to exclusively cloth diaper for the most part and choose, you know, chlorine free formaldehyde free disposable diapers for him, I made that conscious decision for him. And then didn’t think anything of it on the fact that these are laying on my reproductive organs every month to buy diapers or even more. So obviously, that’s a whole other conversation. And you use what you have to use. But when there’s an awareness and an understanding, you do have options now to reduce some of the chemical exposure to our babies. Why not do it for us? So I would you know, I would love to know, what was your first? I don’t know if it’s a first note, but what would be your first go to? If you could pick anything as far as period care? What would be your favorite
period underwear? Like I just I really think they’re some of the easiest, most comfortable, you don’t feel like there’s anything on you. Yeah, to me, that’s, that’s probably my go to. And I didn’t discover them till way late. And, you know, again, after that would probably be a natural type of pad. Only because again, for me, because of having very heavy start, I just find that the easiest to manage and see really quickly where I’m at and just change. So those are probably the two for me, I wish that I had known more about period underwear, like a decade ago, because I think they were actually starting to be around back then. But I really didn’t. And so I think that’s a really cool thing. Because, again, environmentally, it’s fantastic. As far as just comfort level, it’s fantastic. They are incredibly absorbing, absorbing even if you’re, you know, moderately heavy. Yeah, I think those are really, really cool.
I remember, I’m sure you remember this one I started down that road after I had my first baby on heading into my second baby, I started making remember that I was making washable pads because there was Luna pads and they were just really expensive. Like I couldn’t, I couldn’t find them why I pay more for pads that I did for my cloth diapers. So and that, to me still is odd. I still I’m not an advocate for that. And you won’t find those in my shop ever. Because I want it to be affordable for women if I’m going to buy that I might as well spend the money on something like NYX where where you get beautiful undies out of it. And you can use everyday on these on top of that, you know they have all different styles and different levels of flow and whatnot. Even my 10 year old has them no like she has just the everyday ones the extra small finally fitter. So and I think we have such a great variety now that there’s just no real reason that we have to reach for stuff at the drugstore. Right? I just feel like we’re we can be better informed now as to what our choices are. There’s things like the Diva Cup now that’s one I’ve only tried it once. And I’m just not a fan of having anything in there during my period. I don’t use your hands either. And yet I know other women who that’s all they use. Yeah, but I remember a friend in dance class I went to performing arts high school and I was a dance major. And I remember one of my friends got toxic shock. She actually I’m arrived to be hospitalized for a week from a serious infection because she had slept with a 10 To plan and forgot about it, or something of that sort. I can’t remember the details. But I remember how scared that was it scared me the thought of that. And I use them for swimming or things like that if I needed to. But next now has bathing suits. How cool is that? That’s cool. Actually make period bathing suits. I think it’s brilliant for again, for those none not so heavy times, you know. So yeah, I think it does come down to a personal choice of what you feel comfortable with and, and what fits you the best on what part of your cycle. But here’s the point I want to make. When I switched, when I did make the change, I saw a significant change in the amount of bleeding and cramping, it went away. I have never had cramps, since I still get some discomfort around my hips, my pelvis. I know it’s coming. Maybe an hour before I get it, you know, and it’s like clockwork for me. But after years of you know, prenatal clients, and I know when we were both working as doulas, the amount of women who had endometriosis and PCOS and were struggling just to get through pregnancies or to have babies who had never heard of the connection between leaching chemicals from your pads and tampons, and the effect on your reproductive organs. So is there anything you can like shed some light on that as well?
I mean, I think for for me and my daughter, we both have seen the same thing. Like there’s definitely here in Guatemala, there’s not a lot of options. So if you’re buying pads, you’re buying whatever’s at the store. And so if you know, we have to do that at any point, because we’re, we’re in between underwear or anything like that, there’s a significant difference in both the amount of flow and the discomfort. So, you know, it’s funny, because for years, I was like, maybe it just in my head, you know, but I can say, yeah, no, it’s not in my head. And I definitely, you know, I mean, it’s such an easy thing to test for yourself, is just buy something natural, or try on period underwear, and see what the difference is for you in that month. And I think that’s an incredible, you know, an incredible lesson, because you can, you can see it just very, very quickly.
Have you have you noticed, excuse me, have you noticed any adjustments to diet, like I use that word loosely, to what we’re eating, affecting it as well.
I have seen that I haven’t done a whole lot of research on it. But I definitely can can say that for many women that I’ve worked with. And even just friends and family, a lot of sugar around that time seems to create an issue when it comes to comfort level as far as whether it’s cramping, or even just discomfort in like the ligaments around the pelvis. Another thing too, is, is how much you’re doing. A lot of people just don’t realize it, I think even again, this is something was really late to the table, but not really understanding your cycle, like the actual four phases of the cycle. And not understanding that those first three to seven days, however long that lasts for you, that should be downtime for you. And so trying to push through and do what you normally do, it’s not time where you have to actually like hibernate that’s probably like the three to five days before it. But but was you know, three to seven days. Like if you’re still exercising and doing all those things, great. But it should be at a much softer level, a much gentler level, much more stretching, and those types of things. Because we’re just not as we’re not in that full gear kind of that we normally would be in. So like when it comes to what you’re eating, when it comes to how you’re moving. When it comes to the type of even your job, like whatever you’re doing for work, you’re better to be doing things that are just brainless tasks. I say that, you know, but but really things you can do without thinking about it too much. So that’s really, I think, all part of taking care of that time so that you’re not putting extra stress on any part of your body, which then exacerbates all the symptoms, right doesn’t seem to matter.
Yeah, I heard someone say not long ago, a business coach, say when you’re on when things are flowing with your cycle, make sure things are flowing with your work. And to her point was just what you said it should be easy. That’s when you are writing out what you are able to do easily not taking on new projects that we cannot you know, not putting big expectations on yourself or other people because you’re going to be you know, irritated, you’re going to be tired, you’re going to your body is literally shedding itself from the inside out. Like I think a lot of times we dismiss it as this is just a woman’s thing. This is just what we do get used to it. Yes, it is a natural, beautiful thing our body does, but it’s still a process that your body is going through that does tax your body. And it does put you know, some pressure on what your systems are able to handle. So I like that reminder that’s good about, you know, exercising and whatnot as well.
And estrogen and testosterone are like at the Rock Bottom right at the beginning and they’re about to take a huge spike so that week after like that’s when you should be implementing everything that’s your like, do it all, get it done, make a goal, you know, set set ideas. So like, it’s not like you have to take life off for it. It’s just give yourself that regrouping time in order to be able to really use your energy when it’s the most accessible to you in your in your cycle.
Yeah, exactly. It’s funny because as we’ve gone through fertility tracking for the last two years, I’ve listened to webinars and talk to other doctors and women and things like that. And they all say the same thing. During that ovulation, you know, that week of ovulation, just get it done everything. Because you’re gonna, you’re gonna have those fluctuations and hormones that start to Peter off, and then you’re in that down phase. And it’s so important to know those four phases. And you’re right, I was the same. I’d say in the last four years, I finally have started to understand my cycle, and not just my period, my actual cycle, including how it works with the moon, whether you bleed on the full moon, whether you believe on the new moon, whether you’re in between, you know, moon phases, it dictates a lot about us. It’s pretty wild, actually. And, and it’s it’s just been really interesting to hear from other people who are much more versed in this, then, you know, obviously, I’ve been another one that I had a great conversation with. She’s a naturopathic doctor, in Australia, actually. And hopefully, she’ll be able to get onto the podcast at some point soon. But we talked a little bit about those chemicals in particular, and I know, that’s a question I get a lot is okay, but what’s the big deal? What’s the big deal about using these? And how does it how’s it gonna change anything. And we talked a little bit about cramping and discomfort and flow. So yeah, so if we could make any of that better. But you also mentioned the word leaching earlier. And that’s what I think most women don’t even understand. From a marketing standpoint, and from a, you know, big business standpoint, they’re making products that cause you to bleed heavier, so that you would have to buy more product, it’s just good for their bottom line, if you have heavier periods. That’s the truth. And it doesn’t have to be a conspiracy. It’s literally as a fact, it’s good business. It’s just a good business model. From a business standpoint, you don’t want a consumable product that nobody needs to buy, again, you need a consumable product that women need to buy often. And on top of that, the chlorine and the formaldehyde that are in there are known to cause reproductive harm. They’re known to cause cysts, they’re known to cause you know, issues with your ovaries, PCOS inflammation, it leeches, it draws blood out of your body at a faster rate than its it needs to come out. So you can imagine if you’re pulling it out, as opposed to letting the body strip it away at its natural rate, you’re going to cause problems at a very basic level. And I’m not even getting into the science of it. There’s so much that impacts in your reproductive health. So for any of our listeners who are struggling with endometriosis, PCOS, reproductive, you know, infertility, any of these things that are going on, or just as comfort in your cycles, just want to make them a little easier to bear. There is a huge, you know, movement, I think, and that’s why we’re seeing all these amazing options, to educate and to teach about our reproductive health. And we’re going to cover things like, you know, birth control and hormonal supplementation and how that has affected our cycles, and how that has played a really negative role in our fertility as well over the years. So this is just one little part of it. But I feel like like I said, It’s the Gateway.
Yeah, it really is. Yeah.
It’s something that we need to have more conversations about. But I think as moms, it’s something that we can, you know, maybe teach ourselves first, but then just like, you know, I learned something from you today, just finding out what’s going to work for the next generation. And what can we do to be better prepared to teach that to them? What’s a good conversation to have around that? All those good things? So leaving at this, I want to know what, give us a couple of tips. What would be around what age and what would be a good conversation to have with our girls. Leading
Yeah. And actually, we had a conversation with our boy, too. So I’m going to give you both sides. Yeah, exactly. So I think I think with girls, wait for their lead, I always think it’s good with your kids to wait for their lead. Now. If it’s getting too long, and it’s too close to what you think it would be, obviously, you’re going to need to bring it up. But I think sometimes waiting for the lead is important because sometimes we give them way more info than they actually are prepared to have. I just speak from experience. But it’s nice to know like what is it they actually want to know and just address that as it comes up because then it becomes a very natural conversation the next time it comes up and you can go a little more deeply into that topic and whatever. I think for most girls, if you know when you started, and if you can find a few sisters, you know when they started or your mom if you can ask. It’s generally around the same time not always, but generally around the same time. So prepare yourself about a year and a half ahead. A lot of times you’ll see that When they start getting breast buds for girls, so when their nipple does start to show through their shirt, that’s probably about a year to 18 months before they’re going to start. Not always, but that’s the general rule of thumb. So that conversation should probably be had in the next six months or so. And so again, just making it a normal part of life, right, not hiding it when you yourself have a period, not that you have to, you know, be you’re showing everybody everything that’s going on, but I think just talking about it that you know, you’re a little more tired right now, because it’s your period or, or whatever, and letting them be aware that that’s okay. Like, that’s just part of life, in some of the easiest ways to have those conversations, because then we’ll ask questions. Kids are curious, right, they definitely will ask questions if you are the type of person who is open to being asked. So I think that’s important. And I think even for if you have a boy, again, this may not if he doesn’t have any sisters, this may not need to be addressed for a long time. But even again, as his mom, just saying, this is just the time of month where Mommy feels more tired. Women go through, you know, a cycle and just saying things so that they’re aware that that’s even something in you know, in your life cycle. And I think that’s super important. My son is actually really awesome. He’s at this point, he’s 16. And he’ll say to me, do you think that Isabel is having that time right now? And because he’s very attuned now to what that is? Like, what each of us are, like, what it’s near it? Like, yes, he’s like, I think I just gonna make her a cup of tea. Right for who gets like, he might just be a little nicer right now. Because you seem a little on edge. Whereas with me, he’s like, I don’t know when you are. So if you need tea, can you tell me? So it makes me laugh, but I think it’s nice that he’s aware. Yeah, we’re different in different parts of our month. And sometimes it’s even saying to him, I sent him just last month, no, actually, this is the time of month, we’re often things can be a little more emotional. And oh, well, why is that? And so we talked a little bit about why is it more emotional during this part of the cycle? So again, just educating yourself, I think is key first, like you said, and then after that, just allowing life to be lived as it’s happening to you. And then that lets them ask questions and not feel like shamed or embarrassed that they have questions around it.
Absolutely. And it’s funny you were talking about with boys, I think it’s a conversation that even our husbands, right, and the men in our lives were never taught to have. So I’ve had friends whose spouses have given just very negative connotations to their kids about, you know, this is when mommy’s crazy, or this is she’s on her period, don’t talk to her this week, or she’s just gonna be like, because they don’t understand either. So they were only given, you know, the negative connotations or not enough information. So be willing to clue your spouse into your cycle, that it seems very like, Oh, I know, well, they just No, no, they don’t. Sometimes just saying, you know, what, the week before, like, three or four days before, I may not even want to look at you, right, this is, don’t take it personally, I honestly am just in those, those hormones are just happening, and I will do my best to work with them, right. But if I’m irritated, that’s why. And then during my period, I just may need some a little space, or I may need some extra love or whatever that looks like. And then when my period ends, it’s Let’s go, oh, this is a good time to ask me. If you want to have some extra cuddles tonight, you know, whatever that looks like. So it’s, it’s just having that conversation to with our spouses so that it does become a more respectful conversation in our home, I think is important too. And thankfully, in our house, it’s not that’s an anon issue. And I know in your house, it isn’t either. But it’s having that conversation early with our kids will avoid some of that, as they grow up to our boys understand the process. And our boys have hormone cycles, too. Right? Nobody told me that until you told me. You’re like, Oh, yeah. About teenage girls, but you never want your teenage boys? And you’re like, Yes, I did. I did tell you because they go through the same fluctuations. And I have found with my oldest being able to say to him, hey, you know how with women and who they know, unfortunately, probably more than they wanted to know. Because as I’m explaining things to a 13 year old, I have a seven year old who ends up privy to a lot of those conversations. So he now does a lot of law laws in the car when we depart, I feel bad for him. I’m always like, can we have this conversation later? Because your little brother doesn’t really want to hear this? And he’ll tell us? No, or Yes. But I’ve had conversations with my oldest and I’ll explain like, you know how I’ll say to you, I have my period this week, or I’m just tired or you’ll see my undies in the same because I’m rinsing them or something right? Like my poor kids, I just throw them in my bathroom sink, let them soak because I like to do that instead of just throwing them in the wash. And he’ll I’ll say, you know how that I tell you how my hormones shift and I sometimes more short tempered with you guys or I’m more irritable or I can’t handle noise as much on those days. I’ll say that’s the same as when you’re telling me that you know, you don’t understand why you’re feeling anxious or you’re not sure why you couldn’t sleep or you’re not sure why you are irritable today. are grumpy. So I think again, you’re right, like just having those conversations when it comes up and not shutting that curiosity down no matter what their age. And, you know, I remember when they were really little finding pads and tampons under the cupboard and playing around with them and just thinking they were great. And not having to explain to them everything about them. But you know, at, you know, five and six years old, being able to say, oh, you know, those are mommies, I need them. You know, I need to have them for once a month or whatever. And then as they got older, they’re like, Oh, it was those things. That’s what you use. All over my body one day. Makes me the stories a little bit bigger. I’m sorry. Well, I appreciate the conversation. This is something that I think we’re going to talk more about. And there there will definitely be feedback and comments I know and questions. So if you have questions about period health and ways that you can naturally relieve some of those, I don’t like to use word symptoms because they’re not but some of the ways your body does talk to you about what’s happening inside and internally. If you’re struggling with PCOS or endometriosis, or just fertility in general, you’re gonna want to follow along and listen to some of our upcoming episodes. But feel free to reach out we’re always happy to answer questions and point you in the right direction.