Baby Sleep Tips
with Lily Horbatiuk
That’s amazing. I love that you said that because I’m actually in the middle of learning about this. Because we work as a company we work with true dark and true dark is created by the guy who made bulletproof brand and all that. And so we have the kids glasses for my kids. And they have yellow lenses for daytime use and red lenses for the evening. And I didn’t know any of this, it resets your circadian or protects your circadian rhythm. So that’s really cool because I was looking at their they have red light night lights. That’s really neat that Yeah,
exactly. Yeah, I get that.
by those red light night lights. They’re amazing. They are really cool. Okay,
good. That’s perfect. And it’s funny because like, right this morning, my just nearly 13 year old woke up at 4am. For the first time ever, he decided he needed to be up at four. Why? Because Well, they all have blackout blackout curtains, but he will when he’s falling asleep. He’ll take the curtain and tuck it around his post of his bed because he likes to see the stars or look outside. While he’s falling asleep. Well, he forgot. Normally he flicks it back. And he didn’t. And it was something as little as that. That he said, I don’t know if there was it just started getting light around for 430. I don’t know what happened. He said it just felt really bright. Like, green light. I don’t know. But it was just one of those funny reminders of like, yes, it doesn’t matter any ag event, you know, my hubby will tell me the same he’ll be we’ve on sweet. He’s like shut that door because the bathroom window shines right onto our bed. He’s like, yeah, the light was pouring on the bed, and I woke up.
Yeah, it makes sense. And sometimes it’s just hard to go back down to sleep for any of us. Right? Especially because at that time in the morning, our bodies are really just waking up, right, there’s one melatonin left, and our bodies are just gonna wake up. So you know, I usually say after 3am is the lightest stages of sleep. And so that’s when we want to protect our sleep the most because, you know, anything will interfere with that. But the second tip I had was also to you know, I love bedtime. And I love bedtime routines. But I think for toddlers, it’s especially important to get them on side with your bedtime routine, get them as involved as possible. With choosing you know what the bedtime rules are going to be role playing, really getting them on, on your side. And, you know, with toddlers, sometimes it always has to be their idea. So we have to offer choices within the boundaries. And so I really love a nice, relaxing, bedtime routine with quiet activity, dim the lights, and really make sure that we’re winding them down for bedtime, because toddlers can tend to get overtired quickly at night, and then that spirals. And so that would be my tip number two is you know, bedtime routine and wind down for toddlers is very important. But having them involved in it is even more important.
Absolutely yes. Because that autonomy is starting so strong there too, right? They want to know that they had a choice. And it’s not just Hey, this is how it’s going to be. So I appreciate that too. Because when my youngest who’s six now, he was probably two or three. And that was his thing is he wanted, it wasn’t a big deal. He just wanted the power to choose his own books, those that we always did storytime from the moment, literally the day they were born, I read bedtime stories. So that was just my thing. We’d always read a bedtime story together, whether it was nursing them whether I was just holding them. But when he got to the age where he could pick out his own books, that was the big deal for him. And if I didn’t, or if someone was looking after them and just pick books, whatever. It really messed it up for him, he had a hard time settling and he was very upset by it. So having Yeah, having a nice, you know, option that is simple, not a big deal. You know, pick out your pajamas, here’s your two choices, pick out your book, your your choices, it seems to be a really good helpful aspect too.
And that consistency for them is so important. That’s that’s how they that’s how they view safety. Right? They know what’s happening after that. It happens to me to my son, you know, if we miss one part of the bedtime routine, we have such a harder time getting him to bed because it’s not consistent. So really, if you do anything consistent, even when you’re awake and have a mini bedtime routine, but really consistency for children is really, really important. Doesn’t have to be it has to be the exact same but you know, like you were saying, you know, giving them something that they know is going to happen is really important.
Yeah, we do that. Yeah, it’s good. We do that even when we’re traveling. We trouble a lot as a family. But even if we’re on a car trip or on a plane, we still do bedtime stories. I do them on my phone, I put them on my Kindle. And they’ll all just snuggle in and listen while I read and I don’t care where I am. It’s just You’re right. Like it, even keeping components that they enjoy. Right? And I did ask them because, again, they’re old enough. But I could ask him, Well, what parts do you want to have when we’re on the road kind of thing? So yeah, consistency, gave a third one for me.
for toddlers, I think it’s going to be about boundaries. And and, you know, I think it’s important to get them onside and with options, but it’s also important to hold boundaries, especially at this age, there are, that’s their job to push back on boundaries. And that’s how they test the safety. So we need to be super firm with boundaries. And really let them know what the boundaries are ahead of time. So we’re not surprising them with them. But really letting them understand the boundaries, and then holding really firm to the boundaries, because I think that’s really important. And at the end of the night, I totally get it, it happens too, like bedtime, you know, can go off the rails because you’re exhausted, you’re exhausted you I have two little ones, by the time we get to bedtime, you know, mom’s ready for bed, too. And so that must be that is the hardest part of holding the boundaries. That’s the hardest time of the day to hold boundaries. But it’s the most important or else it’ll make or break your night. Because, you know, if if we kind of let that go at night, then the whole night, you’re going to have a little one that’s getting up from their bed. And so that’s important as well.
Yes, for sure. And that’s I think you’re right, that’s the moment when you’ve had it. My kids now No, but it started when they were little we did we do sticker charts and all we tried all those little fun things for bedtime routines, and I just wasn’t consistent because our travel scheduled wasn’t consistent. So we’d start a chart, we’d start something and then we’d be away. And then. So it was funny, because it wasn’t till they were, you know, in 234, they’re getting up a little older into the school ages. And my oldest was like, I really like charts, like it really helps me know what to expect at bedtime. And I was getting fed up with the mommies losing it every night at bedtime, trying to tell you the same routine every night, I don’t understand. So we brought them back. Now that you know, the past year and a half, we’ve been stuck at home, we brought back charts. And it was amazing how all three of them, they all responded differently to it. But it really made a difference. So you know, just having something that they can have as Hey, this is just how it is it’s set and you can’t over negotiate that one. You can negotiate your way out of it. And I think even little guys could appreciate that too, when you have that routine. And they turn into master negotiators, don’t
they? Oh, they do they do and like I always Yeah, and one more drink while you’re but one more book. And you know, I always say to parents, you know, hold the boundaries. But if they want one more drink, let’s negotiate. Let’s put it into the bedtime routine, right is already established. Let’s talk about that. But at the moment, then we hold the boundary, right? So it doesn’t mean that we can’t be flexible, but it really does mean that you know, they will come to expect that. So if we always respond in one way, the expectation will be that way. We change the response, we changed the expectation.
Yeah, we’ve actually worked into drink number two now on our list. Remember that there was always drink number one. And then after we all gotten bad there was going to be drink number two. JACK, you’ve all had your drink number two.
That’s one way to outsmart them. They’re
you had to drink number two, you’re on, you’re done. Alright,
I could talk about this forever. Because this is a big topic. It really is. I mean, there’s a zillion questions that come in on a weekly basis to me, I’m sure to you as well, about sleep and about just how do we set a good routine? The last question I have for you is what age would you say parents could seek out your help? At what age? Could they start that now I know they could do it at any point. But what’s the youngest you would say it would be a benefit to have some help.
So I think it is any age but I think that when parents come to me prenatal to newborn, it’s a very different plan and way that I work with them than if they come to me after four months, right? Usually, for prenatal newborn, we really are preemptively just setting the stage for them. We are really just getting them to understand newborn sleep because that is a bit complicated. And we’re really just getting them to understand how to get their little ones to sleep better in general. You know, really good sleep habits, really good sleep hygiene. And that’s it right and even really just understand expectations as their little one grows. Now if it’s after four months There’s something that, you know, a baby is really reliant on to fall asleep. That’s usually when parents come to me and they’re like, we can’t take it anymore. We just want to, you know, we want to sleep better. And so not only do we set up the the them up for success, but then we start to implement some strategies that will help. So I have three age groups newborn, usually three to 18 months, and then toddlers, because toddlers require different techniques and strategies, like we just talked about, like you know, you know, a role playing and bedtime rules, and really getting them on side. That is all built into it as well. So I think that, you know, you can come to me anytime. And I think even adults come to me, and it’s so funny, because when I finished working with moms, they’re like, okay, so like, what can you do for my sleep, because my name is slipping. Like, sleeping 12 hours is no problem anymore. But like, I can’t get to bed like I can’t fall asleep. So I even like, I throw in some adult sleep tips, which are very similar to children. But yeah, I think, you know, I throw those into as well, because that I’m so passionate about sleep, I’m continually learning about sleep sciences, you know, evolving. And all these studies are coming out. And so it’s really interesting to keep on on top of that, and make sure that you know, I have all of the information so that I can pass it along to any parents that are better looking.
That’s amazing. I love that you’re
doing the work.
The one less thing I have to do.
You just count on me to read all the books. Love it. Okay, tell
us how we can find you. If you have some programs for us, you go, go for it, tell us all the spots, parents can find we look you up contact you.
You can you can, the biggest place you can find me is on Instagram, I’m at at little baby sleep. And I run two online programs, one for sleep, which is called your dream plan. That is an online program. But it also has all the support built in. So it’s the best of both worlds. And you’re working with a lot of different families. And we get you to where you need to be in terms of sleep. So it’s customized, but it’s also convenient. And then the second one is my potty training online program called low potty plan that just launched. And so I take that format, because I know that parents are really busy. And we sometimes don’t have the time. So sometimes it’s easier to watch modules, video modules online and download the PDFs whenever you have time. And then touch base with me to do the support as well. And so I have those two programs that I run. But you can contact me anytime at on Instagram is the best way
to ram is amazing. I love watching you on Instagram, you have good tips No really, you give such good quick little tidbit bytes of good tips, right. And if you are just looking to tweak your sleep routine, maybe there’s no major issues you need to deal with. But you just need some tweaking. man that’s like that’s the nicest way to do it. That’s going to get little bites of information as you present them. I love it.
And I usually do it while dancing. So hey,
if he’s entertaining, too.
There you go.
I love it.
Well, thank you so much for your timely This is amazing. I hope we’ll have you back. I know we will. We’re going to talk potty training at some point too, because that’s the next big one. Right? So we’ll talk some more. And for now, that’s it for sleep. But I know if we have questions and people want to talk more, they know where to find you. So thank you.
Thank you for having me. I
really appreciate it.
that was Yeah, it
I love it. I have so many questions that people send me when would they talk sleep. So I had written a whole bunch down. That’s why some of them were kind of thrown in there. But it’s such a big topic for people, you know, like, just the idea of just the idea of knowing you don’t have to figure it out yourself is exactly, yeah, I
think that it’s like I was trying to kind of just make sure that parents don’t feel like isolated that they don’t feel like I don’t want to reach out because it’s like, you know, she’s gonna be like you’re doing it all wrong. But yeah, like, there’s so many questions. I get so many different questions. And I think based on age, it’s so specific. So hopefully those were like, good general tips that
yeah, totally with. Have you I was curious. Have you just from your own story. Have you worked with families with kids? Or do you work with families with kids with like special needs or medical, you know, issues. I know, because I get that’s how we deal with a lot of families that are having health concerns, obviously with their kids. And it really can throw a wrench in their sleep routines, right especially There’s hospital visits or there’s been, you know, disruptions in their nights. My daughter was like that for her whole first year, she was up multiple times at night not able to breathe. So we really struggled to, I had to sleep with her for till she was 14 months old in the same bed to nurse her so she could keep her airways open.
Like it was just Oh, my goodness.
Yeah. What by choice in that sense, like she was a good sleeper? Yeah, it really disrupted our lives and a huge, huge way. So I don’t know, is that something that you’ve ever worked with?
Yeah. So I do, but to a certain extent, because I also am not an expert in different you know, there is courses that you can take with children with autism or different, you know, different, different issues. But I think that I usually refer out when I have a, because I also want to make sure that they see their doctor first and like, Oh, really get that. And I can’t offer medical advice, all I can do is help with the, the sleep habits. So I have but I also am very careful into not overstepping into something that, you know, I don’t want to give the wrong advice or not really be fully versed in what they have. And then we know giving contradictory advice to their doctor, that’s probably Yes, yeah.
Step in that territory. I know, I feel the same way. There’s times that people come to me of things. And I’m like, well, I’ve never even heard of that. I’m not
like medical, like, I always have to get say it’s not medical advice. Because it’s, you know, I don’t want to give them the wrong I want them to see their doctor or see their specialist. So I do have actually refer out to occupational therapists. And, you know, different, you know, I have someone that works with me with feeding and all of that. lactation consultants, and, and all of those different specialists that, you know, I can’t pretend to know, or I can’t know everything, right. So I was in the sleep part, and then I get people to help me with all these, you know, that’s
ideal, that that’s exactly what we should be doing. That’s what specializing is all about. Right? So I love that you have that kind of community that you’re trying to perfect. I do the same thing. I love it.
That’s why I can refer you
now. Yeah, that’s the thing is Yeah, I love can. That’s why I love connecting with people like you and and just to have more people to put my thoughts into, right. Like I have a group of sleep consultants that I’m like, that we all get together and brainstorm. And you know, so we have a really good supportive community as well. That’s one thing
I got really excited when I realized we were doing this today, because we just got like, I don’t know, at 9am. This morning, we just got notification that our newest month, we do like monthly wellness kits, and our newest one is all for sleep.
Like I love it,
become the mom’s sleep kit, like that’s how I will be using I love it. Oh my gosh, it’s just such a beautiful option to have some safe. And I hope the
oils are really good for a bedtime routine to help with, like the massage and everything. I think those are great for bedtime routines. So I always talk to parents about that. Because, you know, sometimes they need ideas are like what can I do to you know, really wind us down and get us nice and relaxed. So that’s really,
part of the thing is they become really popular, but not all parents know what’s safe and how to use them either, right? Like, I’m always appalled when I get people going, Well, I just bought this in the store and I’m diffused get my baby’s room and I’m like, Oh, please don’t please don’t be don’t wanna make them feel bad. And you’re like, Okay, can I suggest you a different way? That’s not right. Because you don’t know. It’s just, there’s so many popular things to do.
And yeah, that’s another one of the things like you’re like, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know how to use this properly. Right. So, like, cue the expert that knows how to implement that. Actually, I was thinking I was like, once I get my podcasts on, I’d love to have you on to talk about that stuff. You know, and, and really talk about like, how to use the oils properly. Yeah,
yeah, the one that we need. The one that’s now in this kit is actually amazing, because it’s safe in pregnancy safe during labor of pregnancy or breastfeeding. Save anyway. Yeah, right. Like if you just your kids now sleeping babies are doing well, but mom can’t get to sleep anymore. Cuz you’re used to being up all night.
You know? Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know, I
used to diffuse a lot and but when I got pregnant, I got really scared because I was like, I can’t do so I’ve had it sitting there for so long with because I just was like, Oh, now I know. I don’t think the baby can be near it. So I
don’t know. It’s fair.
That’s the thing is I’d rather people did that. Then do it. No. Do it in a way that is not safe for them or for the baby. You know, it’s better to step back and ask the right people.
Yeah. And honestly, I have to say you were so organized with your podcast like with how you set everything up. I’m like
in high school at all, okay. From day one, I have the most amazing podcast team that helps me that I heard them. So she’s Chris’s, my podcaster. She’s amazing, her husband and her son. So it’s a family business that they do they live in the US incredible, incredible. Yeah, if you ever want to connect with them their brand, I would love to see what they can do. They do all the editing, they like they put the music together, like,
they’ll cut out all my arms. And
you know what, I love so much about working with them. And I couldn’t have done it otherwise, like, I don’t have the schedule for it. I don’t have the brain space for it. But I had so many people asking me to do it, I thought, let’s see if it’s something we can pull off. It’s because she keeps me organized. Like, I like the amount of Google Docs that have what I need from you today. What I need from you this week, we can’t get this launched until I have x, y and z. Right? Yeah, no.
And then the best part was she does a whole before you launch your progress before we even start. Here’s your questionnaire. And it’s like a whole bunch of pages of what’s your target audience? What’s your focus, almost like when you do when you’re starting up a business, but it’s very honed and very specific. And if I hadn’t had that I was lost. I’m like, I don’t want to do an oils podcast because I’m already covering all of that. I want to reach moms in general. That’s my passion. And so it really helped me hone down who my focus is who my audience is, then who my guests will be.
So that’s awesome. I need that because right now, it’s just me and my BA and he’s awesome. And she helps me so much, but
it’s not something in everyone’s wheelhouse, like even the VA is that I’ve worked with and my even my assistant who’s local to me, she’s like, she goes I’ll make sure your guests are you know, the emails are getting to them and everything’s good. But Chris automates the whole thing. And if I go in and go, Oh, whoops, I just realized something didn’t get sent there on it. Like, yeah, they’re really paying
me for me.
Bill here this conversation. I’m sending her your
Thank you for your time. Okay,